2019-01-09 / Community

Minute Simplifier–Formal Events

by Rix Quinnby

Winter is a big season for formal events. If you are a single man, these events may require that you get a date.

I got dates for years. Then I got married, so I can take my wife. Asking anyone else out after marriage is frowned upon. But following are some tips for the single male.

On the day of the event, buy a corsage for your date’s dress. You could wait and pick one out of her yard, but it would not come with a pin attached.

When your date arrives at the door, compliment her dress or hair. Do not sniff the air and say, “New deodorant?”

Some parties have a receiving line. This is like the pre-game meeting at midfield, but without the refs. Also, there is no coin toss.

If the event is a dinner, you may be served wine. If the wine isn’t sweet, the correct comment is “My, what a dry vintage!” not “What is this *%#@+ slop?”

Or, you might be asked to select a wine. White wine goes with seafood or poultry. Red wine blends with cheese, meat, and nuts. I once got in trouble asking for a “wine that comes in my school colors.”

Ask the server to recommend his favorite entrée. When he describes it, don’t ask “Is it canned?”

The live band at these events may dress formally, too. If the vocalist is wearing a tank top and smashing his guitar, you may be at the wrong party.

At the end of the evening, take your date to her front door, and thank her for a lovely evening. Don’t change back into jeans and a football jersey until after you get home.

Got a story idea for the Minute Message? Just email rix@rixquinn.com

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