2014-04-30 / Living & Style

Things my mother taught me

submitted by Mr. Bobby

1. My mother taught me
about WEATHER.
"Your room looks like a
tornado hit it."
2. My mother taught me
about RELIGION.
"You better pray that
comes out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me
about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten
up I'm going to knock you
into the middle of next
week."
4. My mother taught me
about OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat
your supper."

5. My mother taught me
about the CIRCLE OF
LIFE.
"I brought you into this
world, I can take you out."
6. My mother taught me
about ENVY.
"There are millions of
less fortunate children in
the world who don't have
wonderful parents like
you."
7. My mother taught me
about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it
when we get home."
8. My mother taught me
about GENEOLOGY.
"Shut that door. You think

you were raised in a barn?"
9. My mother taught me
about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have
kids... I hope they turn out
just like you!"
10. My mother taught me
about LOGIC.
"Because I said so, That's
why."
11. My mother taught me
about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until your
spinach is gone."
12. My mother taught me
about IRONY.
"Keep crying. I'll give you
something to cry about."

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