It's been over 2,000 years since Jesus was born. Since then, His life and death have changed the world in ways no one could have predicted.

Jesus' teachings are widely ignored in certain places around the world — Washington D.C. comes to mind — but his continued influence cannot be denied. If you don't believe it, check your calendar, which starts with the birth of Jesus, not the birth of Julius Caesar or the launch of MTV.

Anyone with such a high profile is bound to come in for some criticism, and Jesus was no exception. When He walked the Earth, detractors accused him of being everything from a phony to a blaspheming revolutionary.

Even His so-called supporters don't always reflect what would be called a Christ-like attitude. I can't count the number of times I've heard the Lord's name taken in vain by everyone from total strangers to blood kin.

Often the outbursts were more inspired by a bottle of booze than a book of the Bible, but when they get in a tight, folks frequently turn to Jesus for help. Or at least use him as a scapegoat.

I still recall the time I joined some college buddies on a run to the local jail to bail out a friend who had been incarcerated for a major driving infraction.

While we waited for the jailers to release our buddy, cops came in with another catch. This dude had been busted at the local drive-in theater after making such a fuss it interfered with the wholesale make-out sessions.

Guarded closely by a pair of lawmen, the man staggered into jail shouting at the top of his lungs that he was Jesus and saying he was doing the Lord's work when he was busted. In this case, "the Lord's work" meant disrupting a screening of "God's Little Acre."

The man was taken away insisting that "Jesus wants to make bond."

This was decades before the "What Would Jesus Do?" phenomenon appeared, but even then, cops knew the last thing Jesus would have done is attend a bad movie at a south Alabama drive-in.

But while Jesus is on record as having friends in low places, even his fiercest detractors admit his morals were never in doubt. In matters of the flesh, Jesus never gave the gossips cause to raise an eyebrow, much less point a judgmental finger.

This probably explains why police in north Alabama suspected mental issues were in play after 65-year-old Jean Timms, of Gun Town, Miss., was arrested recently for entering a private home unannounced and uninvited.

The arrest report said when confronted by the homeowner, Timms claimed he was Jesus Christ and had dropped by after hours to have sex with the property owner's wife and daughter.

The homeowner did not believe Timms' arrival signaled the second coming and called the law.

Before the cops arrived, Timms had a change of heart — and identity — and admitted he was not Jesus. He said he was really Elvis Presley.

To prove it, Timms pulled his pants down.

The family was thankful Timms did not drop his drawers, too. Cops arrived in time to arrest Timms while he still had his pants on the ground.

When he was handcuffed, Timms scoffed and claimed he was the grandson of magician Harry Houdini and could escape from anything, except, it seems, the Franklin County, Ala., jail, Timms' last reported residence.

Maybe Timms thinks he's checked into the "Heartbreak Hotel."

No one knows how this one will turn out, but odds are even that in the near future Timms will spend more time singing "Jail House Rock" than "Jesus Loves Me."

(Send your e-mail comments to: alex@ newnan.com)