A few years ago it wasn't unusual to see license plates or bumper stickers saying, "Jesus is the Reason for the Season."

These artifacts were mostly on display around Christmas, which, until recently, had been the time of year when Christians celebrated the birth of Jesus.

The "season" has pretty much devolved into a retail orgy of door-buster sales and deep discount offerings designed more to boost corporate profits than celebrate the birth of the man whose life and death did more to shape the current world than anyone before or since.

But even though Jesus has been all but buried beneath the tinsel and trappings, his name still surfaces in late December. Unfortunately, not all the references are good. Or even religious.

For instance, Rockville, Md., cops just got their Christmas season off to a rousing start by shooting Jesus to death after a taser failed to calm him. Even a poor student of history knows the Jesus in question wasn't the Lord of Lords, but it's still a shame — not to mention borderline blasphemous — that someone would attach such a blessed name to a bad-tempered rottweiler, which is the case here.

According to news reports, Rockville cops responded to a 911 caller who claimed that his 120-pound mutt named Jesus had just mauled him and was looking to do more damage.

The dog's owner told the cops he had hoped to take a nap, but the dog attacked when the man tried to shut the mutt out of the bedroom.

After being treated like a chew toy for several minutes, the man escaped to the bedroom and hollered for help as the dog tried to chew through the door.

Jesus was still cranky and ready to bite when the lawmen arrived. Cops managed to stuff him in a small room long enough to evacuate three kids from the crib and send the bite victim off for treatment.

Then, before cops could calm the critter, Jesus ate through the walls of his temporary prison and went after them. A tap with the taser didn't work, and cops were forced to put Jesus to sleep forever.

You might say such Jesus-related stupidity could only happen in America. You'd be wrong. At about the same time, Jesus the rottweiler was being blasted, a British "scientist" announced he believed the Biblical Jesus had once walked the shores of England.

Dr. Gordon Strachan says he believes Jesus visited England to further his quest for spirituality. Strachan also believes Jesus built a small church at the site of the medieval Glastonbury Abbey. Glastonbury is now famous for a summer rock & roll festival renowned for bad music and heavy rain.

Strachan's theory sounds a bit off to me, but others are buying the tale about Jesus traveling to England. Among them is Ted Harrison, who has produced a film about the alleged journey.

Harrison said, "If someone wanted to learn about the spirituality of the classical and Greek world, he'd have to come to Britain."

But even Harrison admits he has no proof for the theory. "There is nothing specific by way of archaeological finds," he said. "Jesus' shoe has not turned up."

What a blessing. I for one am glad there is no sacred Nike sandal to show Jesus ever set foot in England. The way so-called science works these days, it wouldn't have been long before some dopey academic claimed Jesus was born there.

No thanks. When it comes to Christmas carols, "Oh, Little Town of Glastonbury" just doesn't do it for me.

(Send your e-mail comments to: alex@ newnan.com.)