A wise person once said it was better to remain silent and let people think you are stupid than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

Those words should be carved in stone over the entrance to the lunatic asylum filled with employees of PETA, the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.

This time, it’s a Dawg thing.

Since 1956, University of Georgia fans have adored the white English bulldog mascots that roam the UGA sideline at every football game. The dogs are bred and raised by Savannah’s Sonny Seiler, a huge Dawg fan. Seiler is also a lawyer, but his canine connection allows most people to overlook that flaw.

But I digress.

Earlier this season, the current head Dawg, Uga VII, collapsed and died, possibly of a heart ailment. Or maybe he just didn’t want to see Georgia lose to Kentucky, which happened just after the Uga VII memorial service and was almost as painful.

Following Uga VII’s demise, the school didn’t get a sympathy card from PETA. They got a letter from PETA employee Desiree Acholla, who specializes in harassing people that use animals for entertainment.

By PETA’s definition, that includes the University of Georgia. Acholla’s letter to UGA Athletic Director Damon Evans said:

“Like other dogs, bulldogs love to run and play, but their compromised respiratory system causes these playful animals to struggle for breath. Poor ventilation and hot or humid weather can be deadly for a purebred bulldog.”

Then, it got really weird. Acholla suggested that Evans consider replacing Georgia’s beloved bulldog with a mascot that eats Duracell batteries instead of Alpo.

Yes, fans, PETA thinks Georgia’s next mascot should be a robot. PETA thinks this will save future UGA mascots from a life of heat-prostrated misery.

Clearly, PETA people did not interview potential replacements for the Uga gig.

Matt Hayes of the Sporting news summed it up nicely when he said, “I can assure the friendly, caring folks at PETA that very few, if any, dogs are treated better, or are more beloved, than Uga. I can safely say that the UGA mascots live better, live larger, than a majority of Georgia fans.”

UGA’s Evans said he would give PETA’s suggestion the consideration it deserved. He can borrow my trash can if his is full.

And the PETA robot suggestion wasn’t just stupid, it was discriminatory. PETA picked on Georgia, but failed to attack Auburn for making an enslaved eagle fly around the stadium before each game. PETA ignored LSU fans who drag Mike the Tiger across campus in a cage. And why don’t the PETA people ask the University of Texas’ longhorn steer, Bevo, if he would rather be a mascot or part of the all-you-can-eat plate at the nearest Sizzler.

Georgia’s football program needs to improve in many areas. Mascot isn’t one of them. By next year, a brand new Uga will be in place. And fans will be happy.

And until then, no problems. When Georgia played Georgia Tech the Saturday after Thanksgiving, Uga VII’s half-brother Russ was on hand as Interim Uga.

Maybe Russ doesn’t have the bloodline to be the next Uga, but he did fine during Georgia’s biggest win of a miserable year. Georgia Tech’s much-touted Wreck didn’t ramble at all while Russ was on duty.

If PETA thinks robots are preferable to living beings, they should give a demonstration and replace the entire PETA staff with machines. If nothing else, the PETA employee IQ would soar.

I suggest PETA’s robot employees be shaped like fireplugs. I know some bulldogs who would treat them appropriately.

Of course, if they come in pink ...

(Send your e-mail comments to: alex@newnan.com)