All I wanted to do was make a deposit. A simple transaction. Insert card - punch in number.

It was not to be.

I could not think of the password. I must have gotten pretty close to it once because the machine sputtered for the shortest time. Then it ate the card.

I told the machine that I wanted to put money in; not take it out.

No matter, it kept my card.

Well, this machine is located in a very public place. By now what I really wanted to do was take a blowtorch and either get my card back or do some very bad things to the ATM.

I didn't do either. I talked to the machine. I begged it, pleaded with it but to no avail.

Folks, there is nothing a body can do in these situaby tions. If you kick the thing, it probably would send out an alarm. You can't get your hand in the thing to try and get the card. So I tried some more numbers thinking that it just might give me my card or at least tell me something.

Silly me, a mere mortal trying to out-talk or outsmart this machine.

It finally asked me if I would like another transaction. Well, I told it what it could do with its transaction. By now a small crowd had gathered. I don't know if they enjoyed seeing me in this predicament or to see if I was going to cry. I did not cry. With as much dignity as I could muster, I said "This thing has got to be out of order. Why don't they just put an out of order sign on it?"

Then a small lad of perhaps 10 or so asked me if I had forgotten the password. He told me not to worry his dad did it all the time. He also said to call the bank, and they would retrieve it for me. He said that is what his Dad did.

I got my card back, and now I have changed passwords to something far simpler, if I could only remember what it is.

I did ask the bank if they would just give me a key to the machine, it would make things far simpler. They said no.

This ATM is a thug. I think ATMs are kin to lawnmowers. And that is another story.