'Blame It On The Bossa Nova'
by Alex McRae

For those of you too young to remember, the title of this column is also the title of a 1963 pop song that hit #7 on the Billboard charts. The tune suggested the love-struck singer couldn't control her wacky behavior because she was in the grip of the Brazilian dance for which the song is named.

As music goes, it was totally forgettable. But the song - or at least its sentiment - helped promote the notion that with a little luck and imagination, you can always findsomething or someone else to blame for bad behavior.

Things eventually reached the point where dodging the blame became an art form. One of the best examples of this phenomenon came in 1978 in San Francisco when former city supervisor Dan White shot to death 'Frisco Mayor George Moscone and then, just for fun, capped a current city supervisor named Harvey Milk.

At the trial, White's attorneys argued that their client was not responsible for his actions because he was suffering from depression caused by eating too much sugary junk food. This became known as the "Twinkie Defense."

By the way, it worked. Instead of being convicted of murder, White was found guilty of voluntary manslaughter. He only served seven years, or 3.5 years per dead victim. Who says junk food is bad for you?

Now the "I'm OK, You're OK" craze has reached the point where some allegedly normal people don't seem to comprehend the concept of "wrong."

Two prime examples of this lowering of the morality curve are Georgia's so-called "Barbie Bandits," known to their mamas as Ashley Miller and Heather Lyn Johnson.

After they left high school, the girls wanted lots of spending cash, so instead of flipping burgers, they started shaking their booties at an Atlantaarea strip joint. They made enough to keep them in dope and designer clothes, but the girls wanted a bigger slice of the good life, which meant they needed a little more money.

So they cooked up a scheme to rob a bank. They had help from a bank teller who agreed to be the "victim" and hand over the loot in exchange for a piece of the action.

The two made worldwide headlines when they were caught on surveillance tape grinning in their designer sunglasses as they pulled the heist.

The grins faded right after the dynamic duo were busted. They have now been sentenced.

But at least one of them doesn't seem to know why.

Johnson apologized early on, admitted her guilt, and helped cops make the case against the others. She received 10 years probation for her part in the crime. Miller, though, still doesn't seem to get it.

In an interview she gave before sentencing, Miller said robbing a bank was "the worst decision I ever made." I guess deciding to become as a stripper qualified her as a Rhodes Scholar. But I digress.

As she stood before the sentencing judge, Miller asked for leniency and told the judge, "I realize what I did was irresponsible."

Excuse me? Irresponsible? Irresponsible is failing to feed the dog or changing the baby's diaper on time.

Calling bank robbery irresponsible is like saying Adolph Hitler was only guilt of "making bad choices."

Robbing a bank isn't irresponsible. It's reprehensible, it's raunchy. Why, come to think of if, it's criminal.

Miller was sentenced to serve two years in jail and several more on probation. She was probably surprised. Considering her permissive world view, maybe the worst she expected was an afternoon in Time Out.

The way things are going, that may soon be the case.

(Send your e-mail comments to: alex@newnan.com)