A is for apple, and B is for boat, that used to be right, but now it won't float! Age before beauty is what we once said, but let's be a bit more realistic instead.
A's for arthritis;
B's the bad back,
C's the chest pains, perhaps
car-d-iac?
D is for dental decay and
decline,
E is for eyesight, can't read
that top line!
F is for fissures and fluid
retention,
G is for gas which I'd rather
not mention.
H is high blood pressure--I'd
rather it low;
I is for incisions with scars
you can show.
J is for joints, out of socket,
won't mend,
K is for knees that crack
when they bend.
L is for libido, what happened
to sex?
M is for memory, I forget
what comes next.

N is neuralgia, in nerves way
down low;
O is for osteo, the bones that
don't grow!
P is for prescriptions, I have
quite a few, just give me a pill
and I'll be good as new!
Q is for queasy, is it fatal
or flu?
R is for reflux, one meal
turns to two.
S is for sleepless nights,
counting my fears,
T is for Tinnitus; there's bells
in my ears!
U is for urinary; big troubles
with flow;
V is for vertigo, that's "dizzy,"
you know.
W is for worry, now what's
going 'round?
X is for X ray, and what
might be found.
Y is another year I'm left
here behind,
Z is for zest that I still have--
in my mind.

I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed, and I am keeping twenty-six doctors fully employed!!!