Since the Olympics and presidential politics have sucked the oxygen out of the news cycle recently, some really interesting stories have gone largely overlooked.

Some of the best ones aren't even about politicians or athletes. For a change, animals are back in the news. And while the news may not be all good, it's at least interesting.

In honor of the recently deceased Beijing Olympics, let's begin with a fish story starring human dolphin Michael Phelps, who won an Olympic record eight gold medals for his impersonation of Flipper.

The guy's great. Nobody would be surprised to see Phelps become the official spokes-swimmer for one of Sea World's three American theme parks. Maybe the one that might soon be purchased by PETA, the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.

PETA generally makes news for stupid stuff like promoting tofu turkeys at Thanksgiving or boycotting bass fishing tournaments.

Now they're putting their money where their mouth is and promising to make a difference to some sea creatures that—in PETA's opinion—have been held in soggy slavery for too long.

PETA officials said they are investigating the possibility of buying one of the three Sea World attractions, currently located in Orlando, FL, Austin, TX, and San Diego, CA.

If PETA pulls it off, you can expect some big changes.

PETA officials say they plan to release all the "exhibits" into the ocean again, so they can fend for themselves against acid rain, global warming, growing oceanic "dead zones" and the Japanese whaling fleet.

Having a marine life exhibit without actual marine life sounds stupid, but PETA has a plan. They say they will replace live fish, octopi, sharks, whales and catfish with new exhibits featuring virtual reality or animatronic displays.

In other words, PETA frees the fish and hopes paying customers will settle for the underwater equivalent of video games or water-logged versions of the phony robot characters that inhabit the "Pirates of the Caribbean" ride.

Maybe it's just me, but I can't imagine families lining up to pay a fortune to sit in the bleachers at Sea World and watch the PETA equivalent of "Finding Nemo."

PETA says they have a "donor" ready to do the deal.

Unless the "donor" really likes to watch his cash go down the drain, don't look for this fish tale to ever come true.

In other animal news, a group of alleged scientists just announced that dogs have learned morals from humans.

Sorry, there's just no better — or dumber — way to say it.

The researchers claim that living with humans for thousands of years has increased dogs' intelligence and even helped Fido develop a sense of fair play.

The study was led by Dr. Friederike Range, of the University of Vienna. During a presentation at the Canine Science forum in Budapest, Range said, "Dogs show a strong aversion to inequity. I would prefer not to call it a sense of fairness, but others might."

If that's so, we should replace the delegates to the United Nations with a pack of Rottweilers, and faster than you can say "Roll over," war would be a bad memory.

Or not.

I've have lots of dogs and loved all but one. They're smart and sweet and can learn lots of things, but morals? Not on your life.

And that's probably a good thing. The way human morals are declining these days, truly smart dogs will be looking elsewhere for role models.

(Send your e-mail comments to: alex@newnan. com)