2008-03-05 / Agriculture

Things you don't hear anymore

submitted by Garland Mears

Be sure to refillthe ice trays, we're going to have company afterwhile.

Watch for the postman, I want to get this letter to Aunt Mary in the mail today.

Quit slamming the screen door when you are on your way out!

Be sure and pull the windows down when you leave; it looks like a shower is coming up.

Don't forget to wind the clock before you go to bed.

Wash your feet before you go to bed, they are nasty from playing outside all day barefooted.

Why can't you remember to roll up your pant legs?

Getting them caught in the bicycle chain so many times is tearing them up.

You have torn the knees out of that pair of pants so many times there is nothing left to put a patch on.

Don't you go outside with your good school clothes on!

Go comb your hair; it looks like the rats have nested in it all night.

Be sure and pour the cream off the top of the milk when you open the new bottle.

Take that empty bottle to the store with you, so you won't have to pay a deposit on another one.

Put a dish towel over the cake, so the flies won't get on it.

Quit jumping on the floor! I have a cake in the oven, and you are going to make it fall if you don't quit!

Let me know when the Fuller Brush man comes by, I need to get a few things from him.

You boys stay close by, the car may not start and I will need you to help push it off.

There's a dollar in my purse, get 5 gallons of gas when you go to town.

Open the back door and see if we can get a breeze through here, it is getting hot.

You can walk to the store; it won't hurt you to get some exercise.

Don't sit too close to the TV; it is hard on your eyes.

If you pull that stunt again, I am going to wear you out!

Don't lose that button; I'll sew it back on afterwhile.

Wash under your neck before you come to the table; you have beads of dirt and sweat all under there.

Get out from under the sewing machine; pumping it messes up the thread!

Be sure and fillthe lamps this morning, so we don't have to do that tonight in the dark.

Here, take this old magazine to the toilet with you when you go; we are almost out of paper out there.

Go out to the well and draw a bucket of water, so I can wash dishes.

Don't turn the radio on now, I want the battery to be up when the Grand Ole Opry comes on.

No! I don't have nine cents for you to go to the show.

Do you think money grows on trees?

Eat those vegetables, they'll make you big and strong like your daddy.

That dog is not coming in this house! I don't care how cold it is out there; dogs just don't come in the house.

Sit still! I'm trying to get your hair cut straight, and you keep moving, and it is all botched up.

Hush your mouth! I don't want to hear words like that! I'll wash your mouth out with soap!

It is time for your system to be cleaned out. I am going to give you a dose of Castor Oil tonight.

If you get a spanking in school and I findout about it, you'll get another one when you get home.

Quit crossing your eyes! They will get stuck that way!

Soak your foot in this pan of Coal Oil, so that bad cut won't get infected.

When you take your driving test, don't forget to signal each turn. Left arm straight out the window for a left turn; left arm bent up at the elbow for a right turn; and straight down to the side of the door when you are going to stop.

It is: "Yes, sir!" and "No, sir!" to me young man, and don't you forget it!

While we're at Aunt Mary's and Uncle John's, you kids can eat when the adults get through, and I don't want to hear any, "I don't like this stuff." Keep your mouth shut and eat everything on your plate."

Well, that ought to keep us remembering some of the finer things of the past, some good and some not so good, and if I hear you repeat one word of this "I will beat the day lights out of, you. Do you understand that?"

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