'Christmas And Cleoutus, Shopping For The Wife'
by Ren Summerlin

He was deep in concentration. So I just let him think. I rubbed Queenie Jr. on the head and looked in her ears. Queenie Jr. moaned and looked at me as if to say, "Well Done."

Cleotus Allegood looked up, too, and sighed, "Just don't know what to do, Ren. Just don't know what to do. The Old Lady done told me that she wuz expecting more this year than before. Kain't understand them wommin. Last year she wuz plum tickled with the 'lectric fence box. She shore has used it, too. Kept the spotted sow out of the road. Them thangs ain't cheap neither."

I told my friend that I knew the price of a good one and that he was correct; they were not cheap. I also knew he was still thinking. So I let him think.

"Kain't thank of much else she needs. Got her a pair of red rubber boots a time back. Weren't no special occasion. Just felt like I would do somethin' nice. Them others were 'bout wore out." Cleoutus mumbled. "Reckon I'll need to think of somethin' else. Got any ideas, Ren ?"

I thought a minute or so, and with careful wordage I said this.

"Well, you know Cleoutus some women like different things. Some like a good smelling perfume. Some a box of candy, but knowing your wife as I do I'll bet she wants something special just from you."

"Whar is yo mind, Ren? I kain't believe you said somethin' like that. That woman don't want no perfume or candy. That ain't practical atall. Goodness, Ren, what are you thanking?" Cleotus said and looked at me. "If I'm gone git her anythang, it will be somethin' she can use and enjoy."

We sat there and talked some small talk. We discussed if the specks were biting at the millpond and if it might be a cold winter.

Then Cleoutus stood up and slapped his hands together and said, "I got it, Ren. Something from me and special, too. I'm shore glad I come to see you fer a minute. Even tho you have got some per-que-ye -ler ways of thankin'. No wonder you still ain't married."

He smiled some more. "I'm gone git her a new pair of work gloves and a new filefer the chain on the chain saw. Now that's somethin' personal and practical. Bet she's gone be surprised fer shore. Gotta go, Ren. The feed store is closing, and I want to git there 'afore dark. Yes, sir, bet she's gone be surprised fer shore."

I wished my friend well and told him to come back soon. But in my mind, somehow, I doubt his wife is going to be surprised.

Merry Christmas to all and Good Night, Starshine