Nothing short of brilliant
submitted by cangrow

These Definitions....Nothing Short of Brilliant!

Following is the winning entry from an annual contest calling for the most appropriate definition of a contemporary term. This year's term: Political Correctness.

"Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical liberal minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."

Jury Duty:

My town takes jury selection very seriously.

So much so that when it sends questionnaires to prospective jurors, every question is expected to be answered in full, plain and simple sentences. No "ifs", "ands" or "buts" about it.

This was evidenced by the juror's questionnaire I was sent.

It asked, "Do you speak, read and understand English? If no, explain."