"SURPRISE, SURPRISE, SURPRISE!'
by Alex McRae

As Gomer Pyle used to say to his fellow U.S. Marines, "Surprise, surprise, surprise!"

It looks like the climate isn't the only thing that's changing these days.

Case in point, France. Ever since Napoleon died, the French have been known for fine wine, decent cheese, loose women, bad personal hygiene and a devotion to hollering, "I surrender," every time the German army hiccuped. Not any more. Shortly after being elected President of France, conservative Nikolas Sarkozy undid years of pandering to France's huge illegal immigrant population and announced that France would not offer blanket amnesty to illegal immigrants.

In an even bolder step, French authorities said they would soon start rounding up illegals and shipping them back to their majority Muslim homelands in north Africa and eastern Europe.

Meanwhile, the U.S. House and Senate announced they had reached a "carefully crafted compromise" bill that would grant amnesty to some 12 to 20 million illegal aliens already in the U.S. The bill would let the lawbreakers earn "Get Out Of Jail Free" cards by paying a few dollars and promising to go home occasionally to make room for other illegal aliens.

Public response was so negative congressional leaders caved in and said they would "refine" the bill. Maybe they should just steal the French bill instead.

Never thought I'd say this, but where illegal immigration is concerned, the French are showing more spine than our elected leaders.

By the way, the French realize their economy will take a hit

when the illegals leave lowwage

jobs in the agricultural and service sectors. They say they'll deal with it. I say, "Viva la France."

In other immigration news, even Iran is defending its own borders.

In recent weeks the Iranian government has sent some 70,000 illegal alien Afghans back home. Their goal is to send as many as 1 million Afghans back in the coming year.

Complaints by legal French and Iranian citizens have been minimal.

The U.S. Congress was shocked at the angry outburst against its amnesty programs. Maybe they should send a few illegal alien lawbreakers back home and see what happens.

In other "you don't say" news, one presidential candidate can't seem to stop making money off the "less fortunate." A few weeks ago, poster boy and former senator John Edwards revealed that after he was appointed to head the Center on Poverty, Work and Opportunity at the University of North Carolina, he decided the best way to understand poverty was to make more money.

So he went to work for a New York-based hedge fund and made a few zillion bucks trading stock futures. Edwards said he was studying financial markets and their relationship to poverty. Right.

"It was primarily to learn, but making money was a good thing, too," he explained.

Money-making continues to be "a good thing" for Edwards. Which explains why he accepted a $55,000 speaking fee for a December 2006 lecture at the University of California, Davis.

Here's the best part: Edwards spoke about poverty. He didn't mention soaring college tuition rates, caused in part by paying people like Edwards to mouth off at taxpayer expense. Edwards' fee could have paid the entire four-year school tab for a UC Davis student.

Guess he needed the extra cash to keep paying for those $400 haircuts.

By the way, Edwards only charged $40,000 to soak the students at private Stanford University. All told, Edwards collected $285,000 speaking on nine college campuses in 2006.

I wonder if they held a spelling bee at any of his lectures. Edwards would have scored big with "hypocrite."