CLEARING THE AIR
by Alex McRae

In recent weeks, some readers have taken me to task for allegedly breaking a promise. They accuse me of continuing to blabber about global warming after pledging months ago to never mention the subject again.

They're wrong.

Several months ago I promised to quit writing about the scientific debate over global warming. That's because I don't have the scientific credentials of global warming experts like Al Gore and Barbra Streisand. But I promised I would keep writing about the traveling circus accompanying America's fastestgrowing religious movement,

which brings me to singer Cheryl Crow and her recentlyconcluded Stop Global Warming College Tour.

Crow visited 11 campuses to drum up support for putting a thermostat on planet Earth. Except when bigger stars dropped in, the concerts were largely ignored by the media. But Crow got plenty of attention for remarks she made on her website.

Toilet users around the world went drop-jawed in disbelief when Crow said we could save the world by using less toilet paper. Crow suggested one square of paper was enough for most efforts, and that two, or three at the most, should handle even the biggest bathroom load.

After even the leftist loonies, including Rosie O'Donnell, said Crow was crazy, she did some global backpedaling. She has since said it was a joke.

Let's accept Crow's explanation and agree she was kidding about the toilet paper. But like most global warming supporters, she was guilty of first- degree hypocrisy in the way she staged her concerts to promote smaller carbon footprints.

Let's start with travel. Crow may have a Toyota Prius hybrid parked in her Hollywood garage, but her tour travel isn't so eco-friendly.

Documents published by the smokinggun.com website reveal that Crow's traveling entourage emits more carbon dioxide than a blast furnace.

And it's all unnecessary.

Crow has a nice voice and can play a lick or two on guitar. She could pull off a decent one-woman show any day of the week.

Instead, she chooses to have some company on the road. How much?

Enough that her concert tour to save the Earth required three tractor trailers, three buses and six automobiles.

Crow says her personal tour bus burns bio-diesel fuel. That's good.

But the other vehicles were carbon-spewing death mobiles. Add in the power used by the amps and lights and the fuel burned by those who drove to the concerts, and the carbon total is staggering.

Cheryl Crow could have done the planet more good by staying home and turning off her compact fluorescent light bulbs.

The catering situation was equally offensive. Crow's contract requires promoters to stock each band bus and Crow's personal dressing room with several cases of beer.

All that beer is carbonated! Each time Crow and crew crack a brew, earth-killing carbon dioxide spews forth like a shower of death.

Tap water seems like a good alternative. Maybe Crow needs the beer because you can't say half the stuff she does sober and keep a straight face.

In other global warming news, Crow's final concert was presented on Earth Day, April 22. She didn't mention that on the first Earth Day, in 1970; climate concerns were a little different.

In 1970, professor Kenneth Watt of UC Davis said, "If present trends continue, the world will be about four degrees colder in 1990, but 11 degrees colder by the year 2000. This is about twice what it would take to put us in an ice age."

Weather forecasters missed that one, but they're much better now. If you don't believe it, just check the accuracy of the 2006 hurricane forecast.

(Send your e-mail comments to: alex@newnan.com.)