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A young man was visiting his brother and sister-in-law for the holidays. As he arrived at their house, he found his young nephew, Timmy, helping them bake some cupcakes. After they were done, his sister-in-law allowed Timmy to put the icing on. More ... Ed and Dorothy met while on vacation, and Ed fell head over heels in love with her. On the last night of his vacation, the two of them went to dinner and had a serious talk about how they would continue the relationship. "It's only fair to warn you; I'm a total golf nut," Ed said to his lady friend. More ... An United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU. One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. More ... "Aim towards the Enemy." - - Instruction printed on US Army Rocket "When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend." - - U. S.M.C. Training Bulletin "Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground." - - U. S.A.F. More ... There are earthquakes in Lima, and Texas has rain. The stockmarket's sagging, and Britt's lost her brain. The south is on fire, with no relief in sight, and poor little George shows he isn't too bright. Barack shakes his finger in Hillary's face, as congressman battle in this vicious race. More ... A blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time. She wanted to see the Capitol building. Unfortunately, she couldn't find it, so she asked a police officer for directions. "Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Capitol building? More ... Two Cracker farmers, Bubba and Jimbo, were sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Bubba turned to Jimbo and said, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the community college, and sign up for some classes." Jimbo agreed it was a good idea, and the two left. More ... For years they exchanged common pleasantries as they passed each other by. The frazzled looking mother of eight sat on her front porch, keeping a watchful eye on the youngest of her growing brood. The career woman was usually pressed for time, rushing by on her way to catch a train that would take her to her 9 to 5 job in the business world. More ... These Definitions....Nothing Short of Brilliant! Following is the winning entry from an annual contest calling for the most appropriate definition of a contemporary term. This year's term: Political Correctness. More ... They're written by Andy Rooney, a man who has the gift of saying so much with so few words. Enjoy....... I've learned.... That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person. I've learned.... That when you're in love, it shows. More ... Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director's office."What is the meaning of this?" the director asked. "When you applied for this job, you told us you had fiveyears experience. Now we discovered this is the first job you've ever held. More ... A is for apple, and B is for boat, that used to be right, but now it won't float! Age before beauty is what we once said, but let's be a bit more realistic instead. A's for arthritis; B's the bad back, C's the chest pains, perhaps car-d-iac? More ... |
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